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Ah I remember this one. I wrote it for an OC contest on /x/ in 40 minutes; the first story I’d ever written. Never found out who won.Yeah I do have a bit of a problem there with run-ons; I’ll do a bit of editing on my copy. As for the ending, I thought myself it fell a bit flat compared to the action of the rest of the story.VA:F [1.9.21_1169](from 4 votes)
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